count your many blessings...

chaos
riot
plane crashes
bombing
earthquakes
tsunami tide

after a while, we get tired of hearing/reading about the problems afflicting Indonesia, & the whole globe
one bad news after another, we get used to it...
we no longer think about the suffering people, our ignorance grows thicker
we become numb and s l o w l y . . .
lost our compassion
even so, it turns into bitterness and we claim that God isn't fair..

it's not easy to keep onself from being bitter or sour. bad things just happen too often, overwhelmed us and we lost our grip. i think it helps sometimes to have a bird's eye view. not to let ourselves focus on the calamities, turn our heads and see God's grace... try to track down 365 days ago, and write down all the good things that happened. either to us and to the people around us.

so did you get that raise on january?
what nice things you get on february?
what about the new great friend you met on march?
your boss finally grant your annual leave on april.. to paradise!!
you found love on may!
after long wait and effort, in june (finally) your nephew successfullypronounce your name!
what good things happened on july?
august was iling, but it passed and pretty soon you forgot your pains..
september surprise.. you got a new job!!
the boss who you thought was a total a**hole surprisingly gave you farewel gift on october.
happy birthday, ms. november!!
blessed december, beyond your expectation...

blessings are not all earthly (tho we do, still live on earth), and i believe they are more precious. priceless and last through time.. heavenly blessings that needed to be shared all around the world...

"How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news of peace and salvation, the news that the God of Israel reigns! " -- Isaiah 52:7 NLT

...eternal resolution of a blotched year...

...year gone
...where to??
...new year
...new you
...fresh dreams
...clean slate
...hopes high
...life great

It's that time of the year again, when it's necessary for one to look back, track down 362 days that has passed. Reminiscing all the bitter sweet memories written in our everflowing history... Reflect on the goods, the bads, nad never forget to thank the Good Lord for his neverending blessings...

:: Look and learn all the valuable lessons from the past
:: Focus on what's important Now and respond to it
:: Try to see how wonderful your future would like to be, and plan to make it happen
(excerpted from The Present by Spencer Johnson)

Resolution resolution...
I always have mixed view about it. Making a yearly resolution seems too far away. Aren't we supposed to live day by day, therefore we live up to that resolution?? Well, every year I still make them, although only as a mental note. As the mind goes to sleep sometimes, I guess those important targets/promises we make to ourselves needed to be refreshed anew.

Maybe this year I should write them down, read it from time to time and evaluate it on the next year end. Hmm... what are they?? Losing weight? Reduce alcohol intake? Quit smoking? Naahh.. those are Bridget Jones' :p

I need to mull over this more.

You called in trouble, and I delivered you; I answered you in the secret place of thunder. —Psalm 81:7

I will not claim that the Tsunami tide was merely nature phenomenon.. Along with that, I won't dare say that it was God's answer. God = Love. He's not a vengeful God, eventhough we've betrayed him all of our lives...

Well, it was the sense of awe that I get from watching the news and/or reading them. Awed with how gigantic it was, how massive the damage it caused in a very short time...

And how vulnerable humans are...

the killer wave - TSUNAMI

== Snipped from WASHINGTON POST:

DIYALAGODA, Sri Lanka, Dec. 27 - When the first waves rolled in, A.D. Chandaratna was mending a fishing net on the beach in front of the single-story house he shares with his wife and four children. Fearing for their safety, he did the sensible thing and evacuated them to higher ground. Then he committed what could have been a fatal mistake: He went back to take a second look.

With puzzlement but no real sense of alarm, Chandaratna said, he stood on the beach with a number of other men as the sea slid away from the shore, exposing rocks and sand for a distance of perhaps 600 feet. By the time he saw the second set of waves -- higher, foamier and angrier than the first -- it was almost too late.

Lifted off his feet by a surging tide that also knocked down the front wall of his house, made from masonry, Chandaratna was carried inland for nearly half a mile, washing over a coastal road and a set of railroad tracks before he finally regained his footing at a point where the land began to rise.

"I'm a fisherman and I know about the sea," said Chandaratna, 50, explaining the relative aplomb with which he weathered the ordeal. "I went with the water."

In countries that border the Pacific Ocean, where tsunamis are fairly common, warning systems are in place and coastal residents are instructed to heed the danger sign of a suddenly receding sea. But people on this island nation in the Indian Ocean had never experienced anything like the earthquake-driven waves that slammed its coasts the morning after Christmas, killing nearly 11,000 people. At least some of those, it now appears, unwittingly put themselves in harm's way to get a better view.

"All the sea was like a desert," said Chandaratna, still marveling at the sight of the suddenly unveiled seabed in front of his village of Beruwala. "We had never seen this happen. This was the first time."

== Snipped from NEWSWEEK, an interview with geologist Gianluca Valensise of the Italian Institute of Geophysics and Vulcanology:

NEWSWEEK: Is it true that this quake shook the entire world?
Gianluca Valensise: After a major earthquake, the whole world resonates like a bell that has been struck. It lasts for several hours after the main shock. But what’s more intriguing is that a big piece of the planet’s mass has been moved around. This actually altered the axis of the earth’s rotation.

What about other events, like say the detonation of a nuclear bomb?
This quake was more powerful. It has been calculated that the energy released on Sunday was 23,000 times that of the explosion of the nuclear bomb at Hiroshima (Japan). A large portion of the earth’s crust—1,000 km (620 miles) in length by 100 km (62 miles) in width running from Western Sumatra to Myanmar—moved. And that is where they are feeling the aftershocks now.

How would you compare this quake to others of the last decade?
It’s just so much bigger. The Bam earthquake in Iran a year ago that destroyed a very vulnerable city (and killed more than 26,000) was much smaller. But this earthquake will not be famous for the shaking, it will be known for the tsunami, which is pretty unusual.

The risks of tsunamis have been greatly underestimated. A tsunami can travel 3,000 or 5,000 km (1,900-3,000 miles), in this case to regions like Somalia where people died on the beach because they had no idea that there had even been an earthquake. This is something that people will have to face in the next few years.

How fast can such a wave go?
In the open ocean, it can travel as fast as 800 kilometers (500 miles) per hour—like a commercial airplane—so it took two or three hours. This leaves time for a system to warn people, but there wasn’t one in place.

What was the most awesome about this quake?
Its biblical nature. Its biblical size. And that it spanned two continents. The effect of the tsunami was made worse by the fact that so many people live on the coast, tourism is near the coast, and airports are at low elevations. Television reports show damage largely limited to people within a few miles of the coastline. Inland there are few problems. This is a new phenomenon. If people lived 100 meters (330 feet) above the sea, there would have been few casualties.

If a quake this magnitude hit on land, how would it have been different?
First of all, on land, you wouldn’t have the tsunami. Then, depending on whether it was close to a large city, it would have destroyed it—or done nothing. In the high mountains of Tibet, there are 8.5s that change the landscape, but they don’t kill anyone. Earthquakes like the one yesterday, in a subduction zone, have a repeat time of 200 or 300 years. A subduction zone is where one plate flows under another—in this case the Indian plate flows under the Burma plate. Subduction zones have the fastest repeat times in the world.

What are the most likely spots for another monster quake or a tsunami?
The ring around Sumatra toward the east and Japan. It is where the largest tsunamis in the world strike. The region where 95 percent of the earth’s seismic activity is released and where there are the most active volcanoes is part of a band spanning from Myanmar, around Sumatra to the southeast toward the Sea of Japan, Alaska and the Western U.S., and then south toward New Zealand.

Can people in some of the world’s poorest countries really prepare for this kind of quake?
Moving away from the coastline isn’t very feasible. Tourism also has to be on the coast or people wouldn’t go. People should expect their governments to do something. If governments don’t do something, there’s no hope. The kind of poor people who were affected far from the epicenter often don’t even know what happened. It is like an ocean wave that isn’t related to anything that simply comes and kills you. You can react to a normal earthquake with its standard shaking, you can make your house stronger—and then you might survive. But this felt more like an omen.

Christmas in Hedonist Island

I’m not used to do a reportage of an event, so this isn't one...

I can’t remember the last time I went to church to attend Christmas Eve service. I think we (not just me, but also the rest of the family) felt more and more reluctant to go when we realize that it’s just an annual celebration. Remembrance. When you think about something constantly there’s no need to have a special remembrance, right? When you’re consumed by it, there’s no need to have a special day as a limelight of the event. Therefore I don’t think there’s any harm in (sort of) ignoring an old tradition that serves more as marketing tool for the rest of the world without even bothering what it’s actually about.

Well, this year I consider a bit special, out of the ordinary because I my the 1st chance (ever) to spend it away from family. The timing of my move was perfect (isn’t He a timely God!!). Got involved with the company’s Christmas celebration and from then on we arranged to attend Christmas Eve service together.

The six of us went to a GBI church at Lembah Pujian. Being early birds we sat ourselves in the middle. Along the service they set a fragmented short drama based on Matt 25, combined with singing Christmas carols (also mixed with other gospel songs) and prayers. Then a little girl came up to the stage helped by her mom. Apparently she is blind. Despite her blindness she has composed a number of songs, dedicated to Jesus (that was her own words). Then she sang a couple of songs. Her child voice was clear and filled the room. Touching.

The Christmas message was.... hmmm... I’m not sure, coz he presented several messages and some were out of context. It was typical “bethel”, where it was heavy on the “receiving blessings” and forgot to mention the other side of the coin, which is to be a blessing (as pictured on the drama).

Anyway, I’m glad I went; despite the bomb issue (metal detector was installed in the entry door). How was yours? Was it a jolly remembrance? Care to share?

joyeoux

C, is for the Christ child, born on Christmas day;
H, is for the help and guidance He gives along life's way;
R, is for the reason we celebrate each year, even day;
I, is for the individuals we love that live so far and near;
S, is for the Savior who gives us so much love;
T, is for the heavens that He created up above;
M, is for Dear Mary, who rocked her babe to sleep;
A, is for the Angels, for the vigil, they did keep;
S, is for the Shepherds, who praised Him on bended knees

do we?

:: do u miss your MOM? ::

-- in conjunction with Indonesia's Mother's day (Dec 22) --

In one of my writings (not in this blog, as I wrote it as an contribution to an e-zine) I wrote that my mom (unfortunately) won’t be included in the ideal type of a mother. Not in the criteria set by traditional norms, neither those of modern. (Am I being a meany ungrateful daughter? Judge all you want, I’m just being honest).

But along the years I’ve made my peace. I quit expecting her to be an ideal mom according to my criteria and just accept her the way she is. That was quite a big step for me, and proven to be the right one.

Now, do I miss my mom??

Hmm… how to answer that without being too personal? All I can say right now is, generally I can’t afford dwelling in too many sappy feelings.. I miss my family. Period. I don’t wanna start thinking how I miss my parents, I wish they were here, I miss hanging out with my siblings and friends, I miss my old job (not!), I miss that person, so on and so forth. I’m aware of it, but I got more important issues to deal with, mainly settling down.

Mother’s day isn’t that big in our family, sometimes when I remember I get a bouqette for my mom. Today I only manage to sms her: “selamat hari ibu, bu.. jangan lupa sungkem dengan ibumu..” (she’s an easy target to tease ;)). And another one to my dad: "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."

"Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children."
(William Makepeace Thackeray)

ps. 1 thing I miss badly: my bed and pillows. I was (still am) a bit tight in cash so I bought these low budget sleeping gears. Now I suffer backache and sore neck every other day. Ugh.. maybe get new ones when I receive my paycheque..

lonely in Bali?? NEVAHH!!

It's a blessing to be alone yet not feeling lonely.

Whereever I go I'd grab any free periodicals laying around. There are a few here, mostly are provided in clubs tho. The other day was browsing Bali Profit. Not much info in it, then my eyes caught small ads. Houses, villas, then the personal ads. It's just hilarious observing how desperate some people are... Check these out!

"French man business in Bali, 45 y.o, handsome. Looking for Indonesian girl 25-30 y.o, 170 cm minimum, dark or light skin. For serious relationship only. Please call 08133654378. Email: rockmarine@hotmail.com"

"Hi there, we are Indonesian girls. If u looking for fun, spending night together, or you feel lonely in Bali. or maybe you are swinger want to swing, or 3some,just call us at 08179776848 or send Email to bym909@yahoo.com"

"Male 26 yo, 173/67, gay masculine, looking for partner life or boyfriend foreign/wester/latino/spain, age 45-70 yo, friendly, loving, care, honest, loyal, good looking, clean, masculine and romantic, have job, stays in Yogyakarta, Jakarta or Bali & respectable for serius relationship. Please contact or SMS 08161689101" --> this one definitely is looking for a sugar daddy.

The most used line is: the color of your skin -dark or light- is not important to me. the warmth of your soul means more. (Syeahh right!!)

I'm completely aware how easy it is to just buzz any of the number listed in such periodical (or even place an ad myself) and do whatever wild. My parents are away, no sibbling snooping around who will report my being naughty. Unquestionably FREE! Freedom never stands alone tho, it comes with a huge responsibility. I don't need to get all too philosophical about it to stop me from doing the unthinkable, I just need to ask myself "to what end?". I figure it's just a no-brainer attempt to meet people, to find a special person, or as harmless as having some fun. Well, each people has different ways.. It's just not my cup a tea. At least not anymore hehee.. Still, it's harmless fun to read the ads with friends and have some chuckles.. (^_^)

ps. The ads are copied as they are.

'tis the season to be jolly fa la la la la la la la la

Entering December comes with a special high spirit. Perhaps because it’s the end of the year, rolling to the new year.. Perhaps because it’s a holiday season.. With Christmas at hand, we anticipate lots & lots of jolly things.. the beardy fat man who brings presents (only if you’re nice!), cookies (fruit cake.. yummm), chocolates, caroling (falalala lalalala), snow (uhmm.. not in my part of the world tho), everything.. the whole 9 yard.

Caroling is definitely a must. Every year there are new Christmas albums with both classic (with re-arranged rhythm) and new songs. Some of them are plain fun, some are senselessly ridiculous). I think (correct me if I’m wrong) the new ones are getting more and more out of context. It’s not about Christ’s birth anymore, it’s all about having fun and fleshly joy.

Some songs that are definitely not seasonally correct to be sung in Indo: Let it Snow!, Frosty the Snow Man, White Christmas. Tunes that are dedicated to Santa (who doesn’t even exist. Really, check out North Pole! :p): Jolly Old Saint Nicholas, Santa Claus Is Coming To Town. Romance on Christmas, either when you fall in love (All I want for Christmas is You) or fall out of love (Last Christmas I gave you my heart.. but the very next day you throw it away.. ouch!!). And then there are tunes that plain annoying: Jingle bell rock, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (sad to see that at their mild age, kids learn that Santa is only human and mommy’s a slut. LOL.)

They’re not exactly out of context, coz the season is special, so many new Christmas songs are not exactly Christmas songs, just holiday songs. Well, there’s always the true Christmas carols (or some people would call them ‘religious holiday songs’), like Away In a Manger, Go, Tell It On The Mountain, What Child Is This?, Joy to the World, O Come, All Ye Faithful.

I don’t have a personal favorite, but I find it hilarious if ‘The Twelve Day of Christmas’ ever literally happen to someone. On the twelve day of Christmas, my tru love sent to me:
12 Drummers Drumming
11 Pipers Piping
10 Lords a Leaping
9 Ladies Dancing
8 Maids a Milking
7 Swans a Swimming
6 Geese a Laying
5 Golden Rings
4 Calling Birds
3 French Hens
2 Turtle Doves, &
A Partridge in a Pear Tree

While my theme of the year… “I won’t be home for Christmas”, allow me to sing a tune for you, tho only in my head (hey, you could play it in yours too)....

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on, our troubles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on, our troubles will be miles away

Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us gather near to us once more.

Through the years we all will be together, if the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough
And have yourself a MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS now...

honeymoon's over

The two week semi-orientation, semi-adaptation period has ended. Now on to "Real Life".

Had the luxury of living in a hotel (Nikki, located in Denpasar) for the past two weeks. It's a relatively good hotel. Clean, simple, nice staff, good area (not too crowded), tho a bit tough to look for food (at least there's a Pizza Hut around the corner if you're too lazy to go to the eating area).

Shared the ups & downs of the hotel. People's interests are quite high. The room occupancy and facilities usage are good. During my stay there were 5 wedding receptions, a number of seminars and meetings & a bunch of student stayed there during their study tour. This part is a bit problematic, coz they're alone are already noisy, then they banging doors (including mine) & buzzed my phone. Silly kids.

Living in a hotel is nice, but economic wise it's not feasible. Spent quite some time searching for a place to live, yet no luck. I'm a bit picky on this. Can you blame if someone wants to live in a decent place? Argued with myself whether a house is better than a single-room shack. Either comes with its own consequences and privileges. Bet you already know what they are.

So, right now I just need to re-adjust some aspects of my life again.

Used to have my breakfast ready before going to the office. Well it's not that great to be missing it... They serve you the same menu every morning (: plain/fried rice, capcay (veggy dish), fried chicken and fresh fruits). Not that I'm complaining, it was good. Healthy and save lots of time and energy from preparing breakfast. Next week, no more predictable menu for breakfast. Either I prepare it or simply skip it.

Transportation won't be much of a problem. There will be public transportation in the new area, of course less comfortable than the recent arrangement where I got daily pick up service (back and forth).

So long to free facilities... No more telly (which is ok, coz that means I can catch up on my reading), no more gym (I could always find one near the new place), no more swimming pool (which was quite comfortable coz it's private and not many guests uses it). And lastly, so long to room service... It's just nice to have people ready to clean after you, isn't it?? Well, now I only have myself to clean after me. Nothing new though, usually never let anybody touch my room back home.

So far I survived living out of 2 suitcases, so I guess nothing I can't manage (^_^).

nyawah

The tips below will only be useful IF you're planting rice for fun...:

1. Make sure your short is short enough so it won't catch mud
2. DO NOT bring cellphone. Risky. Besides your hands will be all muddy and sticky to pick it up when it rings.. "I think you're the only rice planter who brings cellphone" hehee.. the staff maybe right
3. Apply oil richly on your legs and hands. This will (hopefully) make it easier for you to wash and get rid of the sticking mud after planting
4. Better not plant during the rain, but sometimes you just don't have a choice
5. Ready for work: take a handful of rice plants (there must be a better term for this) and stick them in the field, give 15-20 cm distance to each stack.

I had my first time experience of rice planting. Went with some of the staff (around 20 ppl). It's a periodical program of ours, took around five minute ride to the rice field (great green-wide view) from the office and there we were.

It was fun. Seriously,but only the first five minutes (hehe..). Teased around, chat, took pictures (hey, maybe I could upload it some time). Sure was a good outside staff gathering, which obviously benefit the company more, it being cheap and they got free labors :)).

It was exactly what I predicted. Muddy, sticky, swaty... Didin't expect to get some rash as a bonus though. Hmm.. wonder if the company will cover medical expenses if any of the staff got skin disease and/or flu.

First time was fun, but may not be the last....

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

I could be a 6 year old child on her 1st day at school who feels lost in big wide island, trying to fit in and settle down ...or... I could also be a 52 year old, who doesn't feel the need of all this "adventure" and just wanna go home and curl up in my own bed!!

In reality, I'm 31 & am trying my best to enjoy this adventure..

*taking it one day at a time*